You may be here because an unexpected loss has taken you off your path. It could be the loss of a job, the death of a loved one, or the end of an important relationship, but the markers that have given life meaning until now are no longer there. At these times, the power of emotions that flood in can shut you down and it's common to withdraw because of shame, worry or exhaustion.
Or, maybe yours are stuck feelings, those that come when we find ourselves making the same mistakes over and over again – at work with colleagues, with a lover or spouse - and you just don’t know which way to turn anymore, so that things come out differently. It may be that anger flares up between you and those you care about, you don’t feel seen or heard, or it’s too hard to trust people with your true feelings. How do you make the space in yourself and in your relationships to be authentically you, while balancing the needs of another?
As our children grow, some of us are reminded of difficult times in our own history that begin to intrude on our ability to respond empathically or responsibly when it comes to their struggles. Our children suffer and yet we fail to help them move through safely, because we only know the cobbled-together coping strategies from back then. A new direction would be better than repeating the same old route -which is why getting help for yourself at these times can help your children too. Your enlightened self will lead them to a better outcome, and show them that receiving help is better way to solve problems than by suffering through, alone.
Big life changes often require a whole new roadmap. Getting married, or becoming a parent, or a becoming a caregiver to our own parents…those seismic shifts alter our perspective and call on us to be capable in ways that are new and often demanding. Or it could be that your growth is placing pressure on your friendships, or partner. In an empty nest, couples wonder whether their marriage still fits, and if not, how to adjust? Or, perhaps you’ve tapped into the desire and energy to make a career switch- what’s next, and is it even possible? New responsibilities or strivings can bring major life decisions to the fore, and they’re often fraught with conflict.
Feeling difficult feelings like anger, grief, despair, anxiety can be so hard to bear, and if we’re not accustomed to them, they can stop us in our tracks. Even more so these days when many in our culture place a premium value on being happy or carefree as a marker of success. The truth is that the outcome of brushing feelings like these under the rug is rarely success. Far from solving anything, even more complicated problems will likely arise - because the underlying issues and the feelings that come with them haven’t been taken care of, only hidden away.
That is where psychotherapy can really help. It takes courage to face feelings, and practice, and lots of support especially at first. For successful people who are used to accomplishment, it's typicallly even harder to show suffering, or to admit when help is needed. But your concern for yourself and willingness to work for change is a sign of relative health. Call me and see if working together might help ease your pain.